And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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