An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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