I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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