laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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