Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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