bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
