Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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