Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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