Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my liver is dry heaving
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
