Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
