if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
