zippers are such a cool invention
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Green mimosas i think yes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize