We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
