he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
