it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Mom said you looked used
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
