My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
