i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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