Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
