Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
