i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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