are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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