you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
