all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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