so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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