I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
