So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
