dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize