Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
