It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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