my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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