he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
