my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize