You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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