it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
