Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
