Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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