i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
