Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
