And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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