You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
