I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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