the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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