and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
this will be a night to untag.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
