What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I want a musical about memes.
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