I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
