He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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