Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need water and some morals
Randomize
