by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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