Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
wow bdsm is so cute
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