i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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