So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize