Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
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