Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
