its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
