Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
