Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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