Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i have two assholes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
