I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
