babies were throwing up all over the place
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
These tits shall not be calmed
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