does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
